jokes

Guest · jokes

got any jokes

Guest

did u hear about the horse that was in hospital... it was in a stable condition

Guest

why did the leapar fail his driving test... he left his foot on the clutch

Guest

I got some pickup lines if you want to hear them

Guest

go on tell me

Guest

Is your dad an alien, cause you're out of this world

Guest

I'm sorry, I forgot my library card, but do you mind if I check you out?

Guest

lol der good

Guest

ive got some female comebacks

male: ur body is like a temple
female: sorry no sevices today

male: have i seen u sumwer before
female: yeah thats why i dont go there anymor

Guest

lol! those are awesome! ok here's somemore

Are youyr legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day

Guest

If this forum were a meat market, you would be prime rib!

Guest

lol thats a good one

Guest

heres ur mum jokes. not aimed at anyone just jokes.

ur mum is so fat that even jesus couldnt lift her spirit.

ur mum is so fat wen she stepped on the weighing scales it read: to be continued...

ur mum has been bumed mor times than a second hand toilet seat

ur mums had more screws than a second hand dart board.

ur mum is like a tv. she gets turned on by 3 year olds

Guest

Guest

Funny!

Guest

Did you know that Hellen Kellar had a beautiful doll house in her backyard that was pink and had a big red now?

neither did she.

Guest

Wat do you call blondes when you stick them in the Freezer? Frosted Flakes

Guest

ONe snowman looks to the other snowman and says "Hey, do you smell carrots?"

Guest

ROTFL! those are awesome!

Guest

I got one yur momma is so fat instead of giving me std she gave me cholesterol!!

Guest

Guest

Guest

something gross

Guest

oh...

Robby

Lol, nice ones.

Guest

STD is something involving 6.

Guest

lol, I get it

Guest

std- sexually trasmitted disease if u wud like to know(probably didnt)

Guest

shut up, almost all of us knew, except for shadow

Guest

i was talking to shadow

Guest

oh, sorry, I blew up again

Guest

its ok, cool yeah

Guest

Your momma is so fat, she walked in front of the Tv and i missed three commercials. . . .

Your momma is so fat that the doctor diagnosed her with a rapid flesh eating disease, she was given 20 years to live.

Guest

Two Blondes walk into a bank . . you think that one of them would have seen it.

Guest

A blonde with no arms or legs is laying on a beach crying . . .a young man walks up to her and asks her . ."Mam, wats wrong?" to which she replied, if I were to die today, i wish that i could have a hug" . . ..so as bad as he felt he reached down and gave her a hug and she thanked him . . . .

The next day she is lying there again crying and just so happenly the same boy is walking down the beach again, and again he curiously walks over and wonders why she is crying . . .again he asks and she replies, If I were to die today, i wish I could have just one kiss, the boy now frustruated and obligated he leans down and kisses her in the cheek. then he leaves again.

Finally on the third day the boy walks down the beach to find her in the same spot, Why the Hell are you crying now? He replied more angry than before . .. . to which she replied " If i were to die today, i would wish the I would be screwed."

As mad as he was he picked her up and took her down to the shoreline and threw her in the water to which he replied . . . . . ."Now your screwed".

Guest

A heavy woman is looking for a new car at a dealership when she stumbles herself over to the expensive section, as she leans down to look inside a mercedes benz, she farts, she continues to be bent over and breaks into a cold sweat thinking that someone might have heard her, as her eyes carefully scan the room she notices that maybe no one heard it until she sees a clerk standing right behind her. Acting like nothing happend she replies, " how much does one of these go for." Without skipping a beat the clerk says" well if you farted just looking into the car, your gonna shit when you hear the price."

lol

Guest

Chuck Norris went back in time and blocked Lee Harvey Oswald's shots with his roundhouse kick, JFK's head exploded in amazement.

Chuck Norris took the Blue Pill and still found out the truth.

Guest

I'll just stop there for right now and if anyone wants to hear anymore i'll tell other ones.

Guest

tell more of those chuck norris ones!

Guest

Chuck Norris funny.

Guest

Chuck Norris drank Coffee at the Boston Tea Party.

Chuck Norris isnt Hung like a horse, Horses are Hung like Chuck Norris.

When The boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can Slam a revolving Door.

When Chuck Norris does push ups, he isnt pushing himself up, he is pushing the Earth Down.

Chuck Norris Counted to infinity . . . . . .twice.

Lokker

A doctor walks in to see his patient, with a small seat in a bottle. The dcotr asks, "What's that?", and the patient replies, "It's my stool sample."

Lokker

You know you're in a bad motel when: 1. The roaches wear footies, 2. Everything is wooden, including the bath tub, and 3. You can set off the fire alarm by farting.

Lokker

A guy made it home, drunk. The wife asked if he got drunk and puked on his shirt, to which the man replied, "Someone else puked on me and gave me 5 bucks for dry-cleaning." The wife reached into the coat pocket and pulled out two 5 dollar bills. "What's the extra 5 for," asked the wife, and he replied, "He also took a dump in my pants."

Guest

ur mum is so fat wen she run out in front of my car i tried to swerve round her and run out of gas

the hunter

Death Bat

I got a joke :chuck norris Very Happy

Lokker

I heard Chuck Norris was to be in Mortal Combat, and even though people noticed that all the buttons made him do a roundhouse, Chuck Norris said it wasn't a mistake.

Darth Vader is Luke's father, but Chuck Norris is Vader's father.

Chuck Norris can turn diamond back into coal.

When Chuck Norris runs, he's running in-place while the world rotates with Chuck Norris' feet moving it.

Chuck Norris doesn't need heat vision, he just glares at something, 'til it bursts into flames out of fear.

Kabal

A lady is driving down the street when she comes to a large puddle in front of the car. She sees a blonde standing right beside the puddle. Lady: "how deep is that puddle there . .is it safe to drive through?" Blonde: "sure go right ahead!" The ladies's car sinks to the bottom immediately but she swims to the edge if wat she thought was a puddle . . .Agrily she replies " I thought you said it was safe?" The blonde says . . well sorry miss . .thats my duck over there and it only comes up to his waist when he was in there" lol

the hunter

ive got a joke, SABERKINGS RULES, lol

SYLUXMASTER7227

Guest